Getting Nowhere Fast : Series 1-3: A BBC Radio 4 Comedy

Unabridged Audiobook

Release Date
December 2022
6 hours 32 minutes
Former lovers Pam and Merv open a cyber section in their Vodka and Veggie Café in this BBC comedy series

When Merv and Pam got divorced, that should have been the end of their relationship. But here they are, trying to turn a veggie-and-vodka bistro in a cyber cafe, while Merv is still living in Pam's front garden in a small caravan.

Merv's dreams of being a rock star failed a long time ago, so the Cyber Pass is now his only hope - although his customers mainly consist of a washed-up actor eager for a free drink and the local community policeman; plus their staff of Nev, the twenty-something teen who runs the cafe's IT and still lives with his parents, and Chantal, the South African waitress obsessed with plastic surgery and lifestyle consultants. Throw in some midlife-crisis communes, a biological clock, Pam's ever-absent new husband, and a dead chicken, and who could say Merv isn't still living the dream?

With John Challis, Mervyn Stutter, Lill Roughley, Tracy-Ann Oberman and Martin Freeman, this series is from the same acclaimed writer as Love 40 - New Balls Please and Waterloo Sunset and perfect for fans of Clare in the Community and Fags, Mags and Bags.

Merv - Mervyn Stutter
Pam- Lill Roughley
Dibden- John Challis
PC Dilkes (Series 1) - Christopher Etteridge
PC Dilkes (Series 2) - Michael Mears
Chantal - Tracy-Ann Oberman
Nev (Series 1) - Martin Freeman
Nev (Series 2&3) - Gyuri Sarossy
Geoffrey McGivern - various

First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on the following dates:
23 November - 14 December 2001 (Series 1)
19 March - 18 April 2003 (Series 2)
14 May - 18 June 2004 (Series 3)

Production credits
Written by Mervyn Stutter
Music by Mervyn Stutter
Performed by Swamp Things
Produced by Mario Stylianides (Series 1&2) and Simon Nicholls (Series 3)

©2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd (P)2022 BBC Studios Distribution Ltd

'Written by the extremely funny Mervyn Stutter, this comedy series has a laugh every other line. Expect to see this on TV soon!' - Jane Anderson, Radio Times

'This is the comic voice of the Baby Boom.'- The Telegraph

'It's a scream! Terribly funny and really well written. I haven't heard a sitcom like that and as funny on Radio 4 for a long long long time.' - Dillie Keane
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