Let me make this clear right here, right now: I, Halley Dawson, do not care that Preston Wright is kissing other women. Not a lick. Not at all. Nuh-uh-freakin'-uh.

I do care that he's doing it six feet away from me behind a gaudy velvet curtain—making him my competition in this year's kissing contest.

Why do I care, you ask? Because I've had an unfortunate crush on the insufferable idiot since I was sixteen years old, but I also know it's never going to happen.

He's the Creek Falls bachelor to die for, and I'm the Creek Falls raccoon lady who puts peanut-butter sandwiches out for them every night.

I'm not going to let him break my four-year-long reign—no matter how many times he breaks the rules and slides the curtain across to do the one thing he's not allowed to: kiss me.